No more cool breeze for you

If you are still allowed to enjoy cool breezes, you
might like these neat windchimes on etsy.

Overheard in the backseat during our excruciating tour of the tri-state area yesterday:

"David, if you don't stop saying those things immediately, I will not share my cool breeze with you."

(David continues ranting about something inane, clearly just to irk Anderson)

"That is it, David."

*whir* Up goes the window.

"No more cool breeze for you. I hope you realize this was your own choice."

It's a good thing you're bald

I know some moms who could use this Zombie Baby bib from etsy!

So today I had to take David to the allergist to find out what's up with his food issues (verdict: just the milk is a problem, and not even a huge problem, woot), and Kurt took a half day to hang out with Anderson downtown. They went to the library, Skyline, saw The Lorax in Newport across the river in Kentucky, and stopped by Media Bridges, where Kurt is involved at the board level. Apparently Anderson made friends all day, but this particular meeting with Kurt's friend there was both hilarious and slightly alarming. As recounted to me by Kurt:

"It's a good thing you're bald." (Anderson says to Kurt's friend, who I guess is at least mostly bald or maybe has a shaved head, not sure)
"Oh yeah, why's that?"
"Well, that way if the zombies came, they couldn't pull you off by your hair!"
"Oh... true..."
"OR, the zombies would take one look at your head and they would be so confused, they'd just turn around and leave!"

Then, everyone laughed. (phew)

Meanwhile, David sent out several DOZEN pictures from the iPad today of parts of his head and face. Some of them went to Facebook, several went through my Gmail account to people I haven't talked to in 5+ years... I guess it's better than him buying hundreds of dollars worth of Fish Bucks like my friend's kids. Knock on wood.

What could be worse than an ankle-grabbing monster?

You should buy me on etsy.

Ninjas, as it turns out.

"Mommy, did you check for monsters everywhere?"
"Yep, even under the bed. And since they are, you know, not real, it's not surprising that I didn't find any."
"Not all monsters are real, but the real ones are the worst kind."
"Fair enough. There aren't any real or pretend monsters, so no worries!"

20 Minutes Later

"Um, Mommy, there's one other thing you forgot. What about ninjas?"
"You are still awake? Ninjas?"
"Yes, ninjas. Did you check for ninjas?"
"Well, I checked everywhere, so I'd have noticed a ninja."
"Well, see, that's the thing, Mommy. You can't see or even hear or smell a ninja. Nobody knows there is a ninja until he jumps on you and then it's *skeech* you're dead! So, how will we know there are no ninjas?"
"Um."
"Mommy, one other question. Are ninjas still alive?"
"Um."
"Mommy, you don't know anything about ninjas."
"Yeah. It seems that way. Sorry, buddy. We'll have to talk to Daddy about this tomorrow."
(deep sigh) "OK, then, but let's make it a priority. This is important to know about!"

So after that fairly brutal schooling by my 5-year-old with the $100 vocabulary, I went off to do some much needed Wikipedia reading on ninjas (can I just say the history of ninjas is far less impressive than one might imagine?*). Now, my cat does seem pretty familiar with the whole hiding-in-the-pitch-black-right-in-the-middle-of-a-stair-and-then-yowling-indignantly-at-you-when-you-inevitably-step-on-his-kidney-while-wheeling-around-wildly-in-the-dark-as-you-plummet-to-the-ground-at-3-a.m. ninja tactic(I think this qualifies as an "asshole cat technique"), so apparently we're not all a lost cause.


*For example: Uzura-gakure – The practice of curling into a ball and remaining motionless in order to appear like a stone. Falls under "earth techniques"